Getting started...sifting through the stuff of your life gracefully and with kindness!

Sometimes, getting started can feel paralyzing, even for an organizer like myself.  I have honed my skills by implementing ideas, strategies, and systems, with an open mind toward paying attention to what is serving my family well, and what isn't. For me the keys are getting to the heart of what matters and then breaking them down into manageable pieces. 
 

As I move through my home, my schedule, my life, I keep a clear vision of a home and a life of love, joy, beauty, order, harmony and balance. Theses images and feeling are what I value. They influence how I make decisions regarding my environment and schedule.  The process of decluttering, repurposing, and reorganizing ultimately leads me to less stress and more joy.

Through this process, I juggle time, money, energy and changing needs, as anyone does. And, there are times that I feel overwhelmed just like anyone. I have heard it said that a confused mind says, "No!" I can certainly relate to that!

When too much stuff and too full a schedule are competing for our attentions, it is no wonder that we shut down and take detours that lead us further away from our intended goals. When I feel like this, I ask myself what is the one thing that  I can do or change that will make an immediate difference. And, then, I DO it! 

This shift in focus and positive action are often all I need to find the momentum and encouragement to keep going in the direction of what matters.   

One final thought as you begin to sort through the stuff of your life. Do so with self-compassion and the same kindness that you would show a friend, avoiding the harsh judgmental words that question "what took me so long to get here." The point is that you ARE starting. 

To borrow Dinah Maria Mulock Craik's beautiful words, 

"...But pouring them them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; 

certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, 

 keep what is worth keeping, 

and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." 

Regrouping...what about the days that fall off the tracks?

We know the value of creating and following habits that keep all of our ducks in a row. My morning routine is usually streamline although to an outside observer might look like I am rushing around doing several unconnected tasks. I'm not. There is actually an order that makes sense for me.

The truth is, I am looking at the big picture as I let the dog outside, feed the cats, start a load of laundry, open the blinds, and put the kettle on to make tea. In the time it takes me to tend my pets and my home, my muscles have warmed up, I have shaken off the morning "sleepies" and I am ready to ask myself what is the best use of my day and ready to begin my plan, which by the way,  is written on the dry erase board on my refrigerator. These days are my Plan A days, and I feel on top of the world.

But what about those days that you over sleep or something unexpected happens that takes priority over everything else? We all have those days and it is okay to allow ourselves a moment of panic, anxiety or temper without judgement. It is also important to get back on the rails as quickly as possible. How this looks will depend upon what works for you.

Something I have found useful in my own life, is to take a look at my scheduled tasks for the day, the ones that are on a timeline. If there is something that can be moved to a later time, I will make those shifts to open up the morning to settle myself and do my soothing morning rituals. And, on those days that this is just not possible, then I move directly to the most important thing. Period!!

Those little things you do to start your day, will get fit in somewhere else. The dog will still adore you, the cats may leave a special present to announce their displeasure, and the laundry may pile up, but at the end of the day, no matter what happens next, you will know you did the most important thing. These end up being some of your highest value days, the ones that define your character, and allow you to practice creative problem solving.

Lastly, expect to have Plan B days.  I am a big believer in setting the bar high and believing in your dreams, so don 't misunderstand me when I say this. It does NOT mean that you are giving up, but rather that you are being flexible and kind to yourself. When we are tired, busy or over-fill our schedules for whatever reason be it the nature of our jobs or over enthusiastic scheduling, or are faced with an unforeseen emergency, there are little things we can do for ourselves ahead of time in anticipation of those inevitable, tightly scheduled days.

This will look different for each of us, so ask yourself, "What do I wish someone else would do for me?" And, then, do it. Do it for yourself. This may seem a strange suggestion, but if you have you ever set something out the night before because you had a few minutes and acted upon this good idea, you know what I am talking about. It could be as simple as counting out your vitamins the night before when you usually set them aside in the morning. Or clearing your desk and setting the mail by the front door with your car keys rather than wait til morning. Then when the phone rings, and you need to rally to Plan B, you will be ready. It is a little gift to yourself and who knows better what you need than YOU?!

Life Transitions...be not afraid of change; you might lose something good, but you might gain something better

Life transitions...they are a part of the human condition and of life in our modern world.

Changes of our choosing can be challenging and at the same time exciting and motivational as we anticipate the future. We delight in the possibilities and feel that butterfly tickle us deep in our guts telling us we are making a good decision! With happy heart we make our lists, gather our tools, and get started. Or we hire a productivity specialist to come in and help break down the big picture into manageable tasks. Lucky for me that is my specialty.

But then, there are those changes not of our choosing...unexpected, painful, confusing. I sit here not to tell you to cheer up and get back to work, but rather to pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself, that we are in good company as we navigate the trials and tribulations of life.

What once seemed so effortless, can feel insurmountable. I understand. I too am grieving for what I have lost and yet yearning for a contented future with a hopeful heart. Gather your dearest friends near and learn what soothes and feeds your soul. That is what I am doing... moving forward, awkwardly, tentatively, as if a toddler learning to walk for the first time. And, I am learning to appreciate and savor the now. Now is really all that we have.

Morose...I apologize. As organized as I am, I have somehow misplaced my sense of humor. Please let me know if you find it. It will be along side my battered heart.

And, in the meantime, I will share a few of my favorite strategies for getting unstuck and being happy!

1. Do something nice for yourself every day! That may or may not require retail therapy. However therapeutic shopping may be, there is a bill to be paid at the end of the month. Consider, instead, a stack of books begging for your attention, your favorite CD long forgotten, walk the dog a new direction and admire the changes taking place in the world around you.

2. If you live close to the beach, GO!!! The ocean is a magical, soothing place that should not be overlooked. There is something larger than you and I at work here and never so obvious to me as when I listen to waves crash repeatedly upon the shore, smell the sea mist and witness the beautiful changing sky and sea at sunset. If you don't have the ocean, then find a park, a garden, a piece of nature. She is there to bring you back to your spiritual self.

3. Do one thing each day that moves you toward your most important goals. And, if you don't have goals, then making a list of everything that pops into your head, and build your list from there.

4. If you still cannot breathe, cannot move, cannot eat...find a confidant who will leave fruit in a bowl at the table for you, someone who will notice that you need a hug, and let your friends envelop you with their kindness. I am certain that you have done the same things for others when you felt whole. Being cared for is a blessing for both the giver and the receiver!

Peace my friends...change is an opportunity for growth.