Blogging vs. Newsletter...what is your preference?

You may have noticed the time gap since my last blog post. I paused my blog to focus upon creating a monthly newsletter. It publishes on the first Thursday of every month and offers you three golden nuggets - something you need, something you want, and something for fun.

If you’re curious, you will find a link to subscribe at the bottom of my website home page. Thank you for your feedback and comments.

If this is your first time here, you may find a golden nugget or two in the existing blog posts. Enjoy!

Jen 🍃

Pausing…because sometimes a change is as good as a rest.

Pausing…because sometimes a change is as good as a rest.

Adjusting to a new normal...choose boundaries within your environment to support you.

Social distancing is a boundary meant to slow the transmission of the novel coronavirus. It is a choice we can make for the greater good; and people are rising to the occasion. But with this boundary comes the need to adapt in new and uncomfortable ways.

The reality of this is setting in quickly. Texts, and social media, and conversations with clients have made this clear. The surreal feelings of the past weeks are dissipating and being replaced with a need for a sense of control. I woke in the middle of the night thinking about this, jotted down a few notes, and went back to sleep. So now, hours later, I am attempting to capture an idea that was clear in my lucid dream state last night but much foggier now.

One of the last things I did before bed was listen to a short audio posted by a colleague. Her comments were in a context meant to support parents with students at home. I fell asleep thinking about her suggestion to consider a physical space dedicated for virtual classwork and a space for after school study and downtime thus assigning separate, physical boundaries designed for each task. Thank you to Leslie Josel for inspiring this post.

Whether you are an introvert more comfortable at home in a quiet environment or an extrovert who thrives in a more social, energetic atmosphere, the choices of where and who we spend our time with has shifted abruptly. Finding our bearings for even the simplest of tasks without familiar supports and structure is eliciting angst and anxiety for most of us.

We are all figuring out how to create an environment that supports this new normal not of our choosing. And, therein lies the thorn.

We cannot control everything. We never could. But right now, feeling vulnerable and uncertain weighs heavily upon us. I am an introvert, but even I find this level of quietude unsettling. My goal today is to consider what is within my control and make a few, small changes; I need my home environment to support me. These changes cost nothing other than time and a conversation with my daughter because this environment needs to support her too. She attends a local university, but now finds herself at home in virtual classrooms. Perhaps you will find my new awareness a catalyst for making your own small changes and adjust boundaries within your control.

For me, feeling centered and grounded requires a sense of order. I ease into the day by making my bed, starting a load of laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and reviewing my working task list for the day. These simple steps have been a part of my morning routine for a long time. Keeping counters clean, clear, and ready for the next meal prep has also been routine. But doing it soon after a meal feels more important than ever, not just for the visual calm, but for the added element of safety. We have become more mindful of what we are touching and where it has been.

This new vigilance further inspired me to consider keeping the kitchen and eating spaces tech free. Daily cleaning of cell phones and computer keyboards is a part of our new normal; but if there is anywhere in our homes that germs will hide, it is on the items we touch the most often. I don’t know about you, but my cell phone has rarely been too far away from me…until now. This new habit may take several attempts before it becomes easy. But I believe it will be worth the effort and may have long term benefits yet to be discovered.

Setting a few physical boundaries might be just what any of us need to feel more productive and in control of our choices. It occurs to me that I might be more motivated to finish something before leaving my workspace if I choose to leave my tech devices there, in place, when I leave the room.

Finishing a work task may take less time than washing my hands a few extra times if I run downstairs where I will undoubtedly be distracted by the laundry that needs to move into the dryer, and the puzzle waiting for me on the table, and the temptation to snack. Finishing a task before rewarding myself with a few disconnected minutes might be just the reset I need. I know my chapped hands will thank me.

The last change for today is the commitment to go outside and connect with nature daily. There are open, empty sidewalks in my neighborhood, surrounded by trees and native plants. Time outside is good for us body and soul. It may calm the feelings of isolation and help keep cabin fever at bay. Even though we need to give each other six or more feet when passing, it allows us to remember we are part of our communities. I like that.

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I expect I will make many adjustments over the next days and weeks and so will you. Be kind to yourselves and be patient with this process of discovery and need for change. And, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you feel stuck.

My virtual door is open.


Social Distancing...getting to the heart of the matter

As I write this, I am sitting upstairs, looking at the beautiful sky from my window. The rain has stopped, and my dog is curled up next to me. He’s fast asleep, not a worry in the world other than the massive malignant tumor that presses upon his esophagus if he doesn’t position himself “just right.” This reminds me our time together is limited. And, isn’t that true for all of us, no matter what age, no matter where we live, and especially during this time of uncertainty?

Time and life are precious and finite.

I am mentally processing the events of recent weeks trying to make sense of it all. I typically minimize my time on social media because I prefer face to face, real time connections with people through my work, my studies, and my personal time.

But today, I am a moth to the flame and the more I look, the harder it becomes to look away. I probably spent more time looking at my phone in the past 8 hours than I did the previous three days combined. I will bet I am not the only one to admit this.

I spent the morning gathering a few things as I prepare to mindfully isolate myself as part of the movement to slow the spread of COVID-19. I picked up a few more non-perishable groceries, cat and dog food, and hummingbird nectar. I am prepared to work virtually with my clients and colleagues. And I will focus on what is most important to me and adds a sense of normalcy to my life.

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Perhaps you will make a list of what is important to you and let it set your pace for the days ahead.

  1. Stay connected to friends and family by phone and FaceTime.

  2. Keep self care routines as normal as possible with healthy food, lots of water, bedtime routines, and exercise.

  3. Feed the birds and tend my little patio garden.

  4. Be creative. I have projects and art supplies just begging for my attention.

  5. And, my garage could use a refresh. I know there is more than I need living in there.

  6. Binge watch funny movies. Since humor boosts the immune system, it’s win-win.

  7. Gratitude. Right now utilities and phone services are fully functional where I live. There are still groceries available, as of yesterday, and our pharmacies are still up and running.

  8. Hope and faith in others. I trust that people will come together in spirit but will put a little more physical distance than is comfortable in the short term.

Social distancing will not cure COVID-19. But it just might give the experts the time they need to manage supplies for what is needed during this crisis. I can delay a little while longer for the greater good.

Need help planning & prioritizing in the midst of uncertainty? Contact me to learn for more information.



the time for knowledge is Now…enter the new year with 20/20 vision

The decision to seek a diagnosis is personal and fraught with angst. And, yet, if given the choice between blindness and sight, I can’t imagine anyone hesitating to choose clear vision. So, why do we struggle with seeking answers to our mental health and brain based challenges when answers are meant to light the pathway and lighten the load of angst and anxiety so often felt with ADHD and other challenges? Fear of the unknown may blind us to what is helpful. And we may become paralyzed with indecision.

As adults our indecision and hesitation to seek answers is our choice to make, for better or worse. But what about when it affects our children? I see this conflict in families, and have been in its midst in my own. I hear you. I have said the same words.

You don’t like labels. You don’t want your child to have a label. You worry your child will have fewer options in life. Medications have side effects. That scares you. It’s going to be hard. You don’t have time for this. You want your child to stop overreacting.  You say, “Try harder. Be more like everybody else.” 

“Behaviors are symptoms of difficulty needing solutions.” Dr. Ross W. Greene

If you need glasses to read, you wear them. Does wearing glasses make you weak or lazy? Or does it show intelligence to use the tools you need?  Nobody questions using a screwdriver to remove or tighten a screw. No one questions the value of changing a light bulb when it no longer lights up. How many of us keep a flashlight nearby in case we lose electricity? We value our vision and we take steps to protect it, and with good reason.

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If you were to notice your child had little bruises, was tired all of the time, complained about achy bones and headaches, and was losing weight, would you insist they be more careful when climbing into the car, send them to bed early, and say, “Quit whining?” 

No. You would run screaming to the doctor to find out what is wrong. Would you care that homework might take longer, or that you might need to approach life differently if the diagnosis is serious? Would the problem go away because you aren’t ready to face it? No. You would read every book you could find about their diagnosis and look for every possible treatment. 

You would ask for help. You would look for support. And, you wouldn’t blame your child. Instead, you would create an environment that supports and nurtures them.

So why treat ADHD or any other brain-based challenge differently? What are you waiting for? You know in your heart something isn’t working or you wouldn’t be scared or angry right now.  

“ADHD is the worst kept secret.” Dr. Ari Tuckman

The people waiting for you to be okay with “different” are already struggling. They already have labels. They may or may not have friends. They may disrupt class and miss recess as a punishment. They may use every ounce of energy to sit still in the classroom, to fit in, to not interrupt the teacher, to color inside the lines. But at what cost. They get home and melt down.  And you don’t like it. I get it. I’ve been there. I feel your angst, truly.

Getting the diagnosis and learning about your child’s unique and extraordinary brain wiring is a brave first step. You will be holding the flashlight until they can hold it themselves. You will be shining a light on the path to unleash their talents and gifts. The time is now.  It’s not 1968 anymore. 

An abundance of resources exist to help you make sense of ADHD and its many challenges. Acknowledging strengths and learning to work with a brain operating system that is out of the box takes work. But it IS possible. Learning to manage executive functions and learning to regulate emotions are part of the work but the work supports the ultimate goal of thriving with ADHD.

Let’s break down the stigma, empower ourselves with knowledge, and unleash the creative, energetic, curious spirits inside our children. Let’s flood the future with their lights. And who knows, you may make a few new discoveries about yourself along the way. I know I did.

There are so many resources available locally and online. But, CHADD is a good place to start. (https://chadd.org/about/) Call me to learn more.

With love and compassion, Jen 🍃❤️

Getting Things Done...Jump-start your battery with a fresh perspective

Comparison may be the thief of joy but let’s face it. It IS discouraging when you feel yourself falling more and more behind while everyone else seems to be rushing past you.

You wouldn’t expect to drive your car with a dead battery. Yet, converting intentions to actions is similarly challenging without the strategies that keep your brain ready and willing to initiate tasks. You’ve got to figure out what works for you, flip all those preconceived notions of what should work upside down, and step over them.

The dictionary defines the word jump-start as “adding impetus to something that is proceeding slowly or at a standstill.” Where do I find the impetus to move into action? Shifting my perspective is essential. Connecting any task, no matter how small, to my larger life goals and what I value gives it a little sparkle. And sometimes that is all I need to move into action. Other times, I need a lot more than that. And certainly, I need to remember why I started something to keep moving forward.

Making sure I am primed and ready for each day is like maintaining my car so that it runs smoothly.

When I first learned to drive, checking the oil, checking tire pressure, and washing windows were standard operating procedures EVERY time I filled my tank with gas. And I never let my fuel gauge fall below a quarter tank. Well, at least not after I learned that lesson the hard way.

image used with permission by James Michael Raphael

image used with permission by James Michael Raphael

When those of us with ADHD feel sluggish or stalled, it may be time to run a quick autobody check.

Do you have enough fuel? Are you rested, have you eaten, are you hydrated? Did you take your medication? Have you been sitting too long? Would it help to get up and move around for 15 minutes? For some of us, peak mental power follows physical exertion. If you’re one of those people, schedule your day with this in mind.

Is there one task you’ve been avoiding? Imagine doing it first to free yourself from dread & worry. Connecting to courage may add enough sparkle to make the task palatable & the first step possible. Once in action, you may even have difficulty shifting focus away from that task. 

Making the connections from our heads to our hearts can be a powerful way to shift perspective and move into action. Knowing what is important to you, how you work best, and how to get your motor up and running, are more important than doing things like everyone else.

If you’re still running sluggishly with these strategies, it may be time for a deeper look at your operating systems. Let’s explore this together.

Sparking Joy...for less stress and more positive energy

Have you ever stood in front of your closet and thought, “I have nothing to wear?” You are in good company if you answered yes. I have a theory about why this is so prevalent. And, I must thank Marie Kondo and Chriselle Lim for this epiphany and argument in favor of asking, “Does this spark joy?" Adding to that question, “If not, why not?”

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This morning I was re-reading an article in Darling Magazine-Issue 7 written by Chriselle Lim. Her article, “Paper Doll” inspired a circuitous thought bubble as I contemplated my own challenges with curating my closet and outfits over the years. Chriselle notes a few key guidelines in her article. Her second key point, “Focus on your favorite object,” was meant to inspire the reader to begin building an outfit with a favorite item.

My ADHD brain went into overdrive considering the connection between the pitfalls of retail therapy and curating a closet of clothing we love to wear.

One possible reason many garments, shoes, and accessories don’t spark joy for some of us, is connected to our reason for making those purchases in the first place. Think about it. If you initially purchase something to soothe or validate yourself, is it possible you hesitate later to continue using that item, unknowingly, because it triggers negative feelings?!

I know this to be true for myself. I used to LOVE shopping! But my closet was filled with many garments that were just a little bit snug because I would only purchase clothes when I felt good about my body. Those clothes mocked me every time I saw them. And, I would no longer feel good about myself. I felt like I had almost nothing to wear in a sea of beautiful garments. Retail therapy as a reward system has its drawbacks, as I learned. At the end of the day, I still need clothing that feels comfortable, fits well, and suits the body I have right now.

Purchasing something when I feel angry or sad is almost always regretted. Admittedly, retail therapy, feels good, but only in the moment. Later, I am reminded of the negative event and usually return my purchase unworn. If it cannot be returned or a small part of me really does like this item or finds it useful, I spend time reframing reasons for keeping it so that it brings me joy going forward. If I cannot find a positive spin, I give it away and consider this episode of retail therapy another difficult lesson learned.

If we are making purchases without considering the financial implications, even when we love something at the time of the purchase, it may become a negative reminder of an impulse that added to our financial woes. And, that is a good enough reason to reconsider the purchase and reinforces my theory that retail therapy doesn’t always bring the lasting joy we seek.

In my twenties, I LOVED earrings. Since, I wore scrubs to work every day, earrings were the only accessory I could wear that brought a little whimsy or personality to my outfitting. I treated myself to a new pair every month or so and enjoyed wearing each and every pair! My choices were mindful and deliberate, and their cost fit my budget. There was no negativity attached to them.

I don’t wear earrings as often any more. My style and taste have changed. So, letting go of most of my earring collection was really quite easy. It served me well for a long time and is now making someone else happy.

Perhaps, Marie Kondo really IS on to something when it comes to curating the contents of our homes from a place of joy. If we make mindful choices, choices that are needed, wanted, and/or bring us joy, then seeing and using what we bring and keep in our spaces will be more likely to foster less stress and more joyful living. And, that includes a curated closet that lifts us up.

I say, Amen to that! Contact me to learn more.




Let Go...expect it to add value.

Today is New Year’s Day, at least for a few more hours. If you are an introvert, then you will relate to this. I didn’t want to go anywhere, make small talk, eat one more less than healthy meal or someone else’s idea of delicious. And, just for this one day, I didn’t want to meet anyone else’s expectations after the demands and challenges of the past few months.

There. I said it. Selfish maybe, but, why not make this the year of self-care?! If we don’t take care of ourselves, there isn’t much of us left for others. So! I stayed home for most of the day and felt like the cat that got the cream. Don’t worry, I DID walk my dog. There are some expectations I am happy to meet.

As I review 2018, I can see many of the expectations I have grown to resent are of my own making. This year I am determined to let them go and create the life that fulfills me and brings joy and contentment to myself and those most important in my life. If this appeals to you, then please join me in the quest for finding more joy and less stress.

One of the most interesting, and, most likely, important gifts I received this year is a planner because it stimulated a long train of thought in a brain where everything is connected.  So, what does that have to do with letting go, you might ask?! I am a fan of Planner Pads as some of you know and faithfully use them. But I am now, as of today, exploring The Desire Map Planner, by Danielle LaPorte. (Thank you, Shelley!)

Parker knows exactly how he wants to feel. Rested!

Parker knows exactly how he wants to feel. Rested!

In order to maximize this tool fully, I downloaded three workbooks from her website and have been pouring out my heart and soul onto paper. As I answered her questions about expectations and letting go, I felt compelled to stop and share a few thoughts with you. So here I sit, amidst my notes and pens, and my thoughts.

I’m not going to give you complicated guidelines or lists to follow. Instead, I will paraphrase thoughts my review of the first workbook set in motion. Consider beginning with these questions: How do you want your life to feel? How do you want your work to feel? How do you want your body to feel? You get the idea.

What if you let go of what doesn’t bring you closer to how you want to feel and start there? How would this impact your daily life in the immediate moment and over time? I expect to discover my own answer to this over the next year. I will most likely share my progress in a few months. There is a bit of a learning curve and I want to dive in a bit more before I make any bold statements.

For now, simply ask yourself as you go through your day, “Does this thing, this task, this event, this meal bring me closer to the life I want and the feelings I desire?” Letting go of a long, long, LONG laundry list of to-do’s for 2019 might just be what you need. It’s where I’m starting this year, for less stress and a lot more joy.

A special thank you to Jess G. for your invaluable insights.

Happy New Year, my friends!

~ Jen

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Full disclosure: I am faithfully using my Desire Map Planner for the second year in a row and as of 02/20/2020 am an affiliate partner. You can find a link to her site on my Resources, Tools, & A Few of My favorite Things page. The commissions I earn are funneled right back into my education...and my stash of dark chocolate.



Productivity...Finishing something is a very good place to start!

"I don't know where to start and I feel like I'm falling more and more behind!" These are words I hear frequently from prospective clients. I know the accompanying, unsettling feelings well. 

It's true confessions time! If you follow my blog, you know I haven't posted a new blog piece since February. If this isn't delayed decision making and fear of making a wrong move, I don't know what is. I am now a published author. So on the surface, one might think I have it all figured out. The truth is, authors struggle with the same things everyone else does every time we sit down to write. What better subject to tackle than delayed decision making?!

Today, I am choosing to follow my own sage advice. Choose something and FINISH IT!! 

When I don't know where to begin, I find something, one thing, any thing, and finish it. This may seem to contradict much of what you have been taught, and even some of what I have written in previous posts. It is not meant to replace other excellent advice. This is simply another strategy for getting unstuck and moving forward.

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Prioritization, planning, and scheduling are still important productivity tools. But, sometimes, there is so much begging our attention, we delay making any decision for fear of making the wrong decision. I am here to tell you, doing nothing is a decision.

What remains are unfinished tasks and what I have come to think of as loose threads both physically and mentally. Delayed decisions seem to multiply exponentially and add to our stress levels making planning and productivity even more challenging. 

In those moments when we have allowed delayed decision making and perfectionism to paralyze us, setting aside our fear of making the wrong decision is critical. But, getting into any sort of momentum requires taking a first step.

So I ask you this: What if you were to choose one simple task to finish? And, then you were to finish it. Just one task. It need not be the most important, but rather, just one task you are absolutely certain of completing. It could be as simple as folding a load of laundry, or five minutes sorting the afternoon mail, or clearing space at your desk before writing an important email. But, in those next moments, you will have completed a task and prepared yourself mentally for another task.

You have finished something. 

The next step is to repeat that simple first step until you feel a sense of calm and confidence. I promise calm and self-confidence are there if you will allow yourself to appreciate and value completion of even the smallest of tasks. 

Once you feel the momentum build, you are more prepared to prioritize and strategize asking these important questions: What is the best use of my time? What is critical or time sensitive? What adds the most value to my life and goals? And, then, finish something that answers those questions. Today I have done exactly that! I finished simple tasks at home and then headed to have my car serviced. I put myself into momentum and now here I sit blogging for the first time in months.

It feels good to finish something! Try it...you just might like it!!

Re-solutions...to re-set your path toward less stress and more joy

In the spirit of Chinese New Year and The Year of the Dog, I’m sharing my alphabet soup of practical organizing and productivity words to help build your lists. It's not too late to start visualizing and manifesting your goals for the next twelve months. 

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RE-Assess Begin where you are. Look at what is and isn't working for you. Know what you want to feel in your home and workspaces. Real change begins with having a vision, and, remembering that vision.

RE-Boot Check your computer and phone. Update settings and make sure that they suit you. Are your emails out of control? No time like the present to unsubscribe and delete, delete, delete!

RE-Cycle Do you have a designated space for recyclable materials? Make it easy on yourself to follow through with this goal by taking a little time to set up a space in your kitchen, office, garage, or the side of your home to collect the items that can be repurposed. 

RE-Define  Know the difference between a project and a task. Break down your goals into manageable pieces. Celebrate the completion of each task with a little mental "high five" rather than wait until the entire project is finished to acknowledge your accomplishment. 

RE-Enerergize Repainting your walls is a simple and inexpensive way to change how a room feels. Consider colors that enhance the feeling you want in each room and have fun with it. 

RE-Finance February is a good time to reevaluate your budget and commit to following it. Tax time is here. Gather what you need to complete your returns.

RE-Group No budget for new furniture or decorations for spring? Edit your spaces by removing what you no longer need. Try rearranging what remains to make the room look fresh. Regroup favorite photos as a collage on the wall or group books by their jacket colors to add a focal point on a shelf.

RE-Hash Do your files need revision? Do you have three files with similar names making it difficult to remember which one houses what you seek? Consider simplifying your labeling. While you're at it, purge old, irrelevant files, and shred anything with personal information.

RE-Inforce New habits and resolutions need reminders. Reinforce your commitment by writing things down in your planners and calendars. Add visual reminders until what's new becomes habit. Use them and keep them easily accessible.

RE-Juvenate Commit to self-care! Schedule regular time to restore your energy, to decompress, and, to find your calm center in ways that fit you. For me it's a manicure or a few hours at the beach. 

RE-Kindle Is there a hobby or skill you want to pursue? Make time for something that makes your heart happy and to remember your creative self. Take photos, write in your journal, fit a puzzle, binge watch old classic black and white movies. Do YOU!  

RE-Linquish Let go of what you no longer need, use, or love! Let having less to clean and take care of, lighten your load; and, at the same time help someone in need.

RE-Move This is a good time of year to remove toxic items stored in your garage. Check your local waste removal companies to learn where to take old batteries, old paint and stains, and electronic waste. 

RE-Number If you can finish something in two minutes or less, why wait?  For me, it takes longer to add some things to my list than it does to actually complete them. In the spirit of getting things done: keep it simple, know your priorities, and keep your main task list short. 

RE-Organize Be sure to edit your belongings before organizing them. Purchase any containers, shelving, or organizing systems after you decide what to keep. It saves time and money in the long run.

RE-Pair Are you having trouble finding a replacement for your favorite shoes or boots? Consider having the soles repaired by a cobbler. They'll be good as new for a fraction of the replacement cost.

RE-Quest There are only 24 hours in a day. Be sure to utilize resources that are available, request help when necessary, and delegate tasks. Whether at home or work, many hands make small work!

RE-aRange Keep items you reach for the most often where you can easily access them. This may require you to remove and rearrange the contents of your cabinets, shelves and closets. 

RE-Sale Do you have a growing collection of gently used clothing? Take them to local consignment shop. Be sure to repair and launder items before reselling or donating.

RE-Turn To quote Peter Walsh, "Don't put it down, put it away!" Return things after using them. You will save time over the long run and will thank yourself later when you can find what you seek in its designated place.

RE-Use I'm a big fan of reusing and repurposing common household belongings in new ways.  My favorite multipurpose rock star item is the mason jar. There are a million uses for them, they come in several sizes, and are inexpensive. 

RE-View Don't let perfectionism hinder your path to what you want to accomplish. There are very few jobs that require perfection. Why not take a new view of your progress and let good enough be good enough?!

RE-Wire Have you considered feng shui or space healing to bring clarity and energy to your home or office? I have recently explored these options in ma petit chateau and have found setting intentions, writing affirmations, and deliberately arranging my environment to have positive benefits. 

RE-eXamine Schedule annual appointments including vision and dental screenings. Remove old, expired first aid and medications in your bathrooms and cabinets and replace what you still need and use on a regular basis.  

RE-Ykjavik Iceland anyone?! It's not too early to put travel plans for summer vacation into motion. Begin with your destination, lodging, and transportation arrangements. 

RE-ZZZ! Finally, I cannot stress enough the importance of adequate, restorative sleep. It sets the tone for your whole day, at least that has been my experience. A calm, uncluttered bedroom with no signs of work when you awaken is a good place to begin. Know your caffeine limitations. Has your promise to yourself to limit caffeine wavered? Add that to your resolutions. Finally, look at your bedtime routine. Does it need tweaking so that you feel relaxed enough to fall into a deep sleep?  

Happy New Year! May it be filled with less stress and more joy!

 

Work Life Harmony...it's more than a balancing act

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Or so the song goes. As I sit here editing my thoughts from three years ago and anticipating the holiday season for the most unusual, unsolicited year of change, I find so much of what I wrote still applies.

2020 has added challenges to every aspect of our lives. Meeting every expectation whether reasonable or not has come with a price. What if we focus upon giving ourselves permission to let some things go, and commit instead to nurture harmony within our hearts and within our lives? Could this shift in thinking pave the way to a more peaceful sense of calm amidst holidays set in a year where social distancing, protective masks, and the too often heard phrase, “maybe next year” threaten to break our spirits? I say, "Yes!"

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This season, I've decided to lessen my grip on balance and redirect my energies toward harmony.

What do I mean by this?!  Do you remember the movie, "One Fine Day?" It is a story of a single mom (Michelle Pfeffier) in New York City who has trouble letting anyone help her. There is a scene where the protagonist (George Clooney) offers assistance which she flatly refuses saying, "I've got all these little balls up in the air and if someone catches one of them for me I will probably drop them all." 

I can certainly relate to her statement. The thought of a milion balls crashing around me is overwhelming. Yet, if I don't delegate, prioritize, and share the load, they will fall despite my best efforts. There are not enough hours in the day, as Michelle's character also learned.

By definition, balance is a point between two opposing forces. Balls up, must come down, and this juggling takes constant effort. Harmony, on the other hand, takes a slight detour on a gentler path. Finding a pleasing arrangement of parts, or harmony, requires attention to the details, a vision for the bigger picture, and a willingness to edit. Ask anyone who has been a part of a vocal group. 

Moving past balance to the place of harmony allows us to be completely present and immersed in whatever we are doing whether it is a work project, yet another meeting, watching a movie, or walking by the sea. All deserve our full and undivided attention. 

Just as you declutter and purge stuff you no longer use or need, your schedules and task lists require the same refresh. This is a good time of year to make space in your days to savor and slow down, to be selective when saying yes to social gatherings and festivities that don’t align with your need for safe distancing, and to leave time for the unexpected. 

Here's what I will keep on my list: self-care and daily activities that provide stress reduction and health benefits, connection to the people I cherish, conversations with stake holders before making decisions, current work commitments, and, a few weekend days for merriment for its own sake. I already feel better with this plan.

This year, we are all fighting a virus. As for me, I put my "holiday harmony" plan into action. I worked from home, made arrangements to connect with family and friends by phone and videoconference, and made space for my favorite holiday traditions, lights and decorating the Christmas trees. 

A few little trees near my kitchen.

A few little trees near my kitchen.

I expect to find that my quest for harmony will lead to more joy and less stress this year. It is my wish for you as well.

Happiest holidays!